So we (The Bull and I) were wandering through the grocery store, trying to walk and get labor started (. . . didn’t work, btw.)  As we were walking through the aisles to get some tea we ran into a lady we’ve known for years, but have not seen in a while.  I hoped in vain that we could pass by her unnoticed.  (ha ha ha ha ha!)  The conversation went a bit as follows:

(her) “Oh, Hi there! How are you doing?”

(me) “Oh, just hanging in there.” (hoping she didn’t notice my belly sticking out a mile.)

(her) “Oh I see you are expecting another one!  What number is this now?”

(me) (smile and walk on)

(The Bull) “This is our fourth.”

(me) (hoping in vain that this will end the conversation. . . )

(her) “And when are you due?”

(me) (suddenly very interested in reading all the boxes of tea)

(The Bull, proudly) “Last week!”

(chit chat about hope it works out ok, congratulations, etc.)

It’s these kinds of conversations that make me want to skip social situations entirely.  I hate being overdue and yet that seems to be my lot in life as I’ve gone past my due date with each of the calves . . . . . . . except for the one I miscarried.  😦

And that other question?  Please, just shoot me ok?

Holly mentioned this the other day.  It’s such a hard question and there is no right answer to it. . . I personally answer based on whether or not I’ll ever see the asker again, usually.  Some times I really want to say that this is my fifth child.  It’s kind of awkward when I say that to someone who sees our children, since the head count doesn’t add up.  (Although it was kinda fun watching her face trying to figure that one out.)

A couple of times I’ve been asked, and Calf #2 answers.  His response is something like this:

“We have 6 in our family, 3 boys and 1 girl but 1 boy died before he was born.  And now we’re gonna have another one, but we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet.”

Fortunately this has been in business contexts (doctor’s office, that kind of thing) so the response to this revelation is usually something like “Oh I’m so sorry!  Let’s check out how you’re doing!”

Once again, I am sad about how this miscarriage has affected the children.  He’s also asked me if this baby will die.  “Well buddy. . . . everybody dies. . . . so yes, this baby will die.  I don’t know if the baby will get to stay with us for a while.”  I just don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.


3 Responses to “Twofer”

  1. Barbara Says:

    This is a really tough question to answer. We lost a grandson just shy of his second birthday – so we have 8 grand”babies” (none are babies any longer – youngest is 6, eldest is 18) – 7 here on earth and 1 waiting for us.

    I sometimes wonder why it is we have that innate curiosity – what business is it of ours anyway? I think it was Ann Landers who used to write in her column that a good answer for such questions is “why do you ask?”

    Maybe not the best in this situation.

    Praying you through these next days and the labor and birth of your next heart-loved child.

  2. Catherine Says:

    Read on FB that you have gone into labour – praying everything is uncomplicated and you are holding your newest little calf by now!

  3. Tiaras Says:

    OH A, this makes me so sad for you – but this is such a JOYOUS occasion – I’m hoping as I’m typing this you are enjoying a new babe in your arms!!! Love to you and your family!

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