“For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.” (Psalm 139:13-18, NIV)
Needless to say, this passage has quite a new meaning for me now.
The Bull tried to read this passage last night. He had a hard time getting through it. Why not? He’s only wanted to be a father since he was in high school. Losing our baby has been really hard on him.
It’s been really hard on me, too. Miscarriage is not something I ever really thought I would go through. Although, looking back on it now. . .I knew so many women who had been down this rough road before that I knew who to turn to for advice and support. Including a friend from elementary school, who I reconnected with just two or three months ago, who miscarried last year. At 16 weeks. (Hmmm, divine providence, you think?)
What I didn’t expect was to hear so many other women, some of whom I have known for decades, say that they, too, have miscarried. Miscarriage is, for some, a painful secret that is not shared for many reasons.
And I also didn’t expect the support and love that has been poured out on our family these past two and a half weeks.
Today I’ve got to say that I am so, so thankful for our friends. Some have called, some have emailed, some have stopped by to visit. Friends have brought meals, cookies, pie, birthday cake. Friends have mailed cards. Friends have left loving, sweet comments on this blog. I’ve spent lots of time talking and emailing and it’s been so helpful to know that I can share my heart with these close friends.
Today I am immensely thankful for the friends, near and far, who have made this journey a little bit easier for us.
(Join Lynn this month to share Thankful Thursday postings.)