Alternately titled, “Why I Don’t Do Windows.”
Alternately titled, “Why My House is a Constant Mess.”
Step 1, gather supplies. Window cleaner, swifter duster thingey, paper towels.
Step 2, move back the curtains.
Step 3, pick up curtains off the floor since the rod on which they were hanging was almost out of the loops and you didn’t notice until the rod fell off.
Step 4, decide to fix the curtain later.
Step 5, figure that the other curtain will be easier to just hang back up when you are done since it’s fallen out of the loops too. Pull it down and set it aside with the other one.
Step 6, man this is thirsty work! Grab a swig of water quickly and get back to it.
Step 7, extend the blinds the full length in preparation for cleaning them.
Step 8, take the swifter duster thingey and swab in between the slats of the blinds.
Step 9, lift the four year old over the baby gate so he can go wash his hands.
Step 10, change the swifter duster thingey pad and swab a few more slats.
Step 11, grab another swig of water, since you have to take a break anyway.
Step 12, finish swabbing the blinds, change to a fresh pad, and put the duster thingey away.
Step 13, lift the four year old back over the baby gate so he can color.
Step 14, answer the phone and tell hubby what to pick up for dinner.
Step 15, give the baby her sippy cup so she’ll stop fussing.
Step 16, spray the window with window cleaner.
Step 17,wash the finger prints and sticky stuff and dead bugs off the window.
Step 18, suggest to the six year old that he not jump off the couch onto his sister.
Step 19, wipe the dead bugs out of the window track.
Step 20, look at watch and panic because it’s dinner time! Quickly hang up the curtains again and put away the supplies.
Step 21, eat dinner.
Step 22, start a blog post about the process so your friends can laugh and show solidarity.
Step 23, put it aside to wash dishes and get kids to bed.
Step 24, realize it’s been two years since you started washing the window but never finished. The “six year old” is now almost nine. The “four year old” is now six years old. The “baby” is nearly four. There is a new baby who wants to be held.
Step 25, hire a neighbor’s teenage daughter to wash the windows.
Total elapsed time: 2 years, 1 month, 5 days, 41 minutes 28 seconds.
Repeat for the other 5 windows in the house.